I don’t know why I remember…

I don’t know why I remember the feeling I had the first time I saw her.
« She’s way too pretty to be a lesbian. »
…and still I’m there fighting against stereotypes!

Each time I told myself this specific sentence; those specific ‘too good to be true’ women would prove me wrong.

When we met each other, it was for a job interview at a big company. She was settled for a few months now, with her man, quite happy with her job. She made me feel belong. And it’s what she does: make people confident about themselves so they can overcome anything. And she did it with me.

At first I thought I knew her by heart, without giving out any words. That’s what I do. Make people trust me at (almost) first sight.

Thing is, I was wrong. She played me the way I thought I played her.  And it was almost what all of our relationship was about. I underestimated her from start to finish.

Once I understood I had been played I started being myself. Truly. Madly. Deeply. Still I was frightened. I messed up. She backed out.

Once I understood all the things I wanted to give out, she’d eventually given up.

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